Top 10 Body-Bags/Ass Whoopings In Battle History

Image: Greg Rieke via The Fifty Greatest Battle Rappers of All-TIme

"Them niggas thats behind you, they ain't goin' laugh now

But I bet you watch this dvd look hard into the crowd

You goin' see a lot of your niggas not looking very proud"

- Murda Mook

Intro

Throughout the last ten (or so) years, battle rap has taken over as a huge part of hip hop.  What started as a way for up-and-coming rappers to gain respect in their neighborhoods or communities, quickly became one of the most watched and respected forms of lyrical prowess.

I have decided to devise a list of some of the worst "bodies" or ass whoopings in battle history.  This is the second installment of the "top ten" series I will be writing on this blog.  Check out Part One featuring the "Top 10 Written Verses in Battle History" here.

Please keep in mind this is not just a list of ass whoopings/bodies, but THE WORST in the history of battling.  The requirements for this list include: live crowd reaction, embarrassment factor, internet reaction, replay value, impact on the loser's career and what it did for the winner's career.  Readers may not understand these verses by just reading the text, so please do yourself a favor and watch the videos too.

I would not dare try to put these bodies in order, as they all came at a unique time and had a different impact on different groups of fans.  2 vs 2s, freestyle battles, and some battlers/performances will not appear on this list due to the fact that they are better suited for another blog in my series.

Contributing Credits to go Aak & Ness Lee

*Please note, bomb = crowd pleasing punchline (dictated by the live crowd, not me)

*Red text indicates a line was inaudible*

*Pink text indicates Soul Khan making a girl voice*

*Green text indicates an action performed outside of rapping*

*Blue text indicates the battle league/outlet the battle was performed in*

In the words of my good friend, Ness Lee, "Every battle rapper has their GOD MOMENT"

Here is a list of bodies that would solidify any rappers spot next to Zeus on Mt. Olympus:

Head Ice vs Tye Knots

Lionz Den

28 Bars

4 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Head Ice Round 1

"I said yo!

*crowd goes crazy for two minutes*

I used to play ball til the hoop became short to me/

Never supported me, so I looked at it awkwardly//

But unfortunately offers was offered see/

But I ain't take that - told 'em I hung up all my sneaks//

Damn ... what a buffoon you say ...

Now my beat knock hard in your ear drum/

Wit a flow thats fearsome//

Copycat a nigga, I dare one/

I tap dance all on ya beard son//

Bust off ya flare gun, cause you goin need help my nigga/

Wit ya shorty right beside you like, 'Help ... my nigga"//

*crowd goes crazy for one more minute*

Im hoppin' in the pickup soon as i put the blick up/

Fuck layin' wit a bitch, i'm going to buy the liquor//

Might get my dick sucked in the truck too/

If I scoop sumthin' then boot sumthin' like thugs do//

Love who?  I ain't got time for that backlash/

At last, every other word is 'Black Ass' ehh ehhh//

Too much G in my swag for popularity boostin'/

You poppin' cause of battery boostin'//

Make niggas pump him up and I ain't talkin' no gas station/

Cause stick and stones hurt harder than bad statements//

Fuck a red light, i'm livin' like the fed type/

50 bricks or betta - that's what my bread like//

Strictly chick 'n chips is in my head right/

You slick - if you slip 'n stiff that mean you dead right//

So stop playin' me close - that don't work here/

Niggas come through here dumpin ...

*grabs Tye Knots by the arm*

You my first shield//
*crowd goes crazy again*

I ain't sayin' that you pussy or nuthin'/

Ain't like you tried to push me or sumthin'//

Im just being me ... ICE!"

Significance
This may be the worst body on the list for the simple fact that I have never seen someone get grabbed up by their opponent in a battle.  Head Ice snatched Knots by the back of his shirt like a kitty cat and swung him around while saying, "You my shield."  To make matters worse, he taunted Knots for not pushing him.  The battle was so bad that Knots gave up in the third round and his homie had to jump in the battle to defend him.  The hilarious antics mixed with the debut of Ice's mesmerizing slow flow and delivery make this a classic ass whooping.

Hollow Da Don vs Jay Focus

Grind Time

16 Bars

3 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Hollow Da Don Round 1

"This nigga swear he a icy cat/

You got your earrings from the same place you got your white tee at//

You know how I get it on and your glasses is fake, you aint got no cake/

And your shoes, what them the fade aways? Them ain't Bathing Apes or the latest J's//

Fuck the tradition, ill have white after Labor Day/

Ima play away//

And I heard in battles he stay chokin'/

So they coached him like, 'Jay Focus stay focused'//

Jay Bogus, whatever your name is you know how I get down/

Ill break down the quarter, hit you wit a quarter, then send you to the corner like a boxer at the end of a round//

Its Hollow Da Dinininon you know how I get down/

I can't Youtube you - no videos are found//

We can't Google 'em they like, 'Nah yo he aint around'/

Man this nigga harder to find than Waldo in the crowd//

Im hot, ya mans up - his career playing man hunt/

Alright, we can't find him - his ass won//

Significance
In Hollow's first performance in a rap battle league, he definitely came out the gate swinging. This whole battle was hilarious due to the fact that Hollow was just playing around and Jay Focus' confidence seemed to jump out of his chest after the first round.  When this battle debuted, I remember people saying, "Oh my god Hollow is the best battle rapper in history."  The match was as brutal as it was funny, I just feel bad for personally setting it up.  Watch Jaze Juice (the host) react to Hollow's lines - it's hilarious.

Side note: For what its worth, I liked that line Jay Focus had: "You Sharp like Shannon, like Darren im Shaaaarrrpeeer" 

Swave Sevah vs Young Kannon

URL

48 Bars

 7 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Swave Sevah Round 2

*Turns to J. Arch*

"This nigga Kannon bout to come in here and fool niggas wit these three minute long rhymes 

*Turns back to Kannon*

Oh waddup?  Me and my nigga was just talkin' bout you/

But in this case you wont live a long time//

You asked for this, see you was born for pussy niggas to relate to/

I was born, mutated into a form that will mutilate you//

Open palm your face, the strength of my forearms will levitate you/

You speak blasphemous ill turn sacrilegious and desecrate you//

No depending on your faith, ima either heavens gate you/

Or send you to the pits of hell and let the Devil rape you//

Im not him my nigga/

Fuck the subliminal, praise me like the biblical hymns my nigga//

Since they cut my umbilical I been grim my nigga/

A horrible Thing thats hard as stone im Ben Grimm my nigga//

Yous a spoiled child and I refuse to spare the rod for you/

So I use might and smite thee and put the fear of god in you//

Im too thorough and all of my friends be grinnin'/

Our hearts are colder than a winter night in your Windy City//

So Kannon what you wanna do?  Throw ya fist up or grip up/

Cause is I swing your prolly bitch up and your screams'll turn to whispers//

Any word about a beef fly outta your damn mouth/

You'll think im buying foams the way i'm in front of ya home camped out//

You don't stand out, ain't nobody come here to see K/

You are not a nigga they replay, how dare he say//

That he the best at what he does/

When all of his battles get swept under the rug//

Fuck gettin' personal, i'm bout to give y'all some truth here/

Kannon been battling bout two years ... but who cares?//

That bullshit style not designed to last/

How many of y'all can quote a line he had//

Exactly, you spit the same since day one

The funny head movements, the aggression/

All this time done went by - no improvement, no progression//

Nigga if you really bang one and fire weapons, time to aim one in my direction/

Cause i'll snap and beat the shit out this lame til he my complexion//

You asked for this, but I aint gettin' nothing for this but a couple bucks - thats for sure/

But you - you gettin' that killer you been askin' for//

So y'all stop ampin' him, yo Norbes, don't pamper him/

SMACK, stop placing crowns on these paper champions//

Watch out

*Moves around Kannon to speak to SMACK*

SMACK, gimme those other guys/

That you think are the kings of this shit and i'll show you otherwise//

This nigga Kannon don't wanna bump heads crossin, I dump lead often/

12 foot ditch - give you and ya man some bunk bead coffins//

You said in your interview I couldn't bully you, ain't this a fuckin' trip/

Magic said it best in your battle, nigga you a fuckin' bitch//

You bout to be in some upstate ward washing your bunk mates drawers/

You food to the Iron Chef, plus you sweeter than Cupcake Wars//

You bout to get chopped and sent back to the intermediates/

Cause they can't accept your presentation, especially when you lack one of the main ingredients//

And its called presence - nobody even know you fuckin here/

And the sad part about it is ... nobody fuckin cares//"

Significance

Let me go on record by saying I was going to put Swave vs QP in this spot, but this battle is way more impressive (on both ends.)  Its one thing to completely destroy someone - its another thing to destroy them, despite the fact that they did a great job.  What Swave did in this battle separates the greats/legends from the battlers that are really good.  If you have time, you must watch the whole battle; Swave was perfect from beginning to end.  "Bunk bed coffins" was the exclamation point on a ruthless performance.

Iron Solomon vs Shirt N Tie

Underground Sessions

16 Bars

 4 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Iron Solomon Round 2

"Its funny this cat called me Em, he compared me to Em/

Gee, nobodies ever compared me to him//

You know what homie?  Its no surprise that you do/

Cause me and Eminem are both nicer than you//

And its me - Solomon, not Critical you dissin'/

So its Critical you listen//

See talent, the thing thats most critical is missin'/

So ill have your career in critical condition//

You from the Bronx, but in the Bronx nobody wants you/

They want me to stomp you and spit shit you can't respond to//

Im several steps beyond you/

You should quit hip hop and get a job at the Bronx Zoo//

You comin' weak as fuck on this rap shit/

So maybe you'd be better off sweeping up some Giraffe shit//

And you can tell his career ain't about shit/

Cause I seen the last dvd and he's wearing the same outfit//"

Significance

This is the battle where everyone said "Ok, Solomon might be the best ever."  I have never seen someone's opponent give them dap so many times during an ass whooping!  The impressive thing about Solomon in this battle is that (at the time) we couldn't tell he his rhymes were premeditated, freestyled or written.  Shirt N Tie had just spit a line about "Critical," whom he had battled in his last match and Solomon set the modern day standard for rebuttals when he spit four bars that ending with "Ill have your career in critical condition."  Truthfully, Shirt N Tie was funny, but Solomon burned that barbershop down .

Pat Stay vs Jesse Ito

The Elements League

32 Bars

7 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Pat Stay Round 1

"Challenging me was one big fucking mistake/

Y'all can ask him right now, last time we battled I ripped him up and picked him up and chucked him in a lake//

I swear to god, and I was like, 'beat it young man get outta here'

So he left with his girl/

He's hatin' now, but before he was like, 'Pat Stay man you're like the best in the world'//

On msn he'd be always talking to me/

sending me tracks like, 'Yo Pat you should drop on this beat'//

PSHHH ... Block and delete

Im a pretty respectful fellow right, and I ain't never been rude to my fans either/

But man ... I can't see me doing a song with an ant eater//

He think's he's hard cause he's in martial arts, what's this little kid goin' do/

Buddy ill take you out back and fuck the shit out of you//

If you even come at me wit that Tae Kwon Doe and your Capoeira/

Ill fuckin' smash your brains out and make them look like mashed potatoes//

He got all these bad memories from back in the day like when I chucked his ass in the lake/

And at the same party my boy Calvin slapped him in the face//

And now for the past six months he been gettin' ready for me/

Built up the courage to battle the boss in the Elements League//

So he made a challenge on Halifamous when you should have prolly erased it/

Cause me vs you? pshhh thats a no-brainer like a labodomy patient//

Buddy, whatever your name is, chuck in the towel now do this poor man a damn favor/

Cause he bout to get his ass ripped up like wiping with sandpaper//

Y'all probably wouldn't know this just by lookin' at 'em/

But this lil faggot is half asian, no that explains it just in case you were thinkin about how stupid his last name is//

Jesse Ito?  Damn 'Jesse' is bad enough/

A fuckin asian with a girls name?  Man that just sucks//

He looks like he's a fuckin ...

North Korean, Norweigan, Puertorican, European/

Quarter Greek and Portugese experiment of foreign seamen//

It disgusts me that you even exist/

I hope you were beat as a kid and fuckin' treated like shit//

Me puking right now would be more lyrical than all of his rhymes combined/

He's behind on times, he just send me a friend request on Hi5//

You're 5'4, no wonder your names never been heard before/

Who the fuck wants to listen to a 75 pound herbivore?// 

Significance
Pat Stay had about 5 Bodies before the modern era of battle rap even came around - Jesse Ito just happened to be the worst.  I used to do everything I could to find out when his new battles were coming out.  Pat reminds me of that cool white guy that everybody accepts and lets get away with saying anything because he has such a charismatic aura.  This battle is so funny because you don't have to understand the personal disses to relate to the situation. We all new that one small kid in school who tried to stand up to the bully and got that ass whooped - that's Pat vs Jesse.  Pat Stay is the only battle rapper that could say, "Ill fuck the shit out of you" to a man and everyone just laughs ... no homo son!

Soul Khan vs Deacon Frost

URL

54 Bars

8 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Soul Khan Round 1

"He might try to approach me Hoffa vs Solomon/

If thats the case buddy, oh you got a problem them//

Cause I might have a few features you can clown or diss/

But at least I don't dress like that or sound like thiiiiiis//

Oh I bet you package and pitchin' pounds of that white girl/

But you rap like a bitch and you sound like a white girl//

Oh you Deacon Frost like the super villain from Blade/

You look happy for a dude thats been living with AIDS//

You got the germ when you were locked up and your chick is afraid/

But ill still let her taste some of my gentlemen's glaze//

Bitch, if this is Blade im Wesley with the katana extended/

I paid ten bucks for some head and ya mama just spent it//

Then ill hit ya grams up while she was dying alone/

Then be the first guy gettin' dome in a retirement home//

Oh you aint heard? I'm Grind Time's Dexter/

A homicide expert that will leave you leaking something with a fine wine's texture//

I'm an evil genius - thoughts that be screamin' over heads/

So homie if I get you, even you won't know you're dead//

This guy plays like his driveway's where the Maybach is/

Bitch, you too broke to cop a Maytag fridge//

*inaudible*

Cause if we go spar its crow bars and eight smashed ribs//

See, I'm funny like Eddie Murphy playin' Klump and his family/

You funny like Eddie Murphy when he was pickin' up trannies//

You lie about what you aim and shoot and being on that major route/

You ain't hot you flamin' duke, I bet you think that Drake is cute//

You one of them stupid bastards that ain't seen what I do to rappers/

Chewed up, spewed up, barely lookin' human after//

Listen little Frosty, ill uppercut you through the plaster/

Just to see if its true that bitches get bruises faster//

So when your homies ask why your lost, and they askin' why/

Cause you talk tough but got the voice of Jasmine Guy//

He goin' say he sin bad and let the ak spray/

But in the precinct he flips like Dwayne Wayne's shades//

After his battle with Big T, he asked his homies to give him some feedback/

They were like Frost that was dope, but give your sister her jeans back//

My words are weapons so now you gettin' burnt to the bear gristle/

You a burst from a air pistol, i'm surfaced to air missiles//

You's a family man, damn life seems so serene/

Til his wifey found out he takes the Deac-in between//

She tracked me down so I could Pacquiao beat the vagine/

Then she domed me up and told me the royal penis is clean//

You're pathetic - I mean that in the meanest way/

How many round you gunna loose? Three today//

Im like Nas in '94 sippin ENJ/

I put the 'god' in 'goddamn' you put the 'G' in gay//

Homie you lost this battle just by opening the door/

You lost it when you accepted, even knowing what's in store//

You lost it when SMACK told me it was time to go to war/

Homie, you lost this battle the fuckin' moment you was born//

Excuse Frost, he tried to earn him a buck or two/

There's mad dudes in the spot, I bet you'd suck a few//

Three minutes?  Three seconds are enough of you/

IM SOUL KHAN YOU SILLY BITCH!  WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?//"

Significance

URL, Welcome to the Soul Khan show.  This was the first time a white rapper (from Grind Time) who was seen as a "joker" went on URL, the league built for the streets - he completely SHUT IT DOWN.  Certain match ups are unfair to even think about putting together.  This match proved exactly how deadly Soul Khan was on any platform and opened the gates for those who came after him.

Serius Jones vs Jin

Fight Klub

14 Bars

4 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Serius Jones Round 2

"Is this nigga runnin' outta bad luck or what/

*Turns to son*

I don't even know this lil dude, but you just told me you'd fuck him up//

[I said yo] Now I done seen your face more than me, but you far from a star/

And them Korean cars go forever as along as you gass em' up, but your heart aint a car//

See, I heard he killed Shellz and Verse - I was like 'Who?'/

Cause you see what happened to them - they all flopped just like you//

See you was in the game for nothin' - thats cause you lame you frontin'/

You better call up RZA and try to join the WU Tang or somethin'//

[I said yo] You ain't no Ruff Ryder, you on the back of the bike huggin' on like one of them broads/

And DMX tried to kill em' - you know why? He caught him tryna cook one of his Dogs//
*Enter one of the longest/best crowd reactions in battle history*

See it ain't nothin' to me - I be international pimpin/

And I had your Chinese chick givin' me a massage wit a happy ending//

When she turned around I was like, 'Ewww she kinda wrong'/

Like damn why she got a thong, her ass so flat she could iron her pants while she still got em' on//

Significance
Let me start off by saying that "You ain't no Ruff Ryder, you be on the back of the bike huggin' on like one of them broads" is the best set up line in battle history.  From beginning to end, the relatively unknown (at the time) Serius Jones whooped out the Fight Klub champ.  We didn't know if Jin was mad, sad or hurt - there were all types of things going on, but Serius wouldn't let up.  This is one of those situations where you can't feel bad for the loser because the winner winner so was damn funny.

Dizaster vs Canibus

King Of The Dot

90 Bars

15 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Dizaster Round 1

"Whatever y'all are expecting from me ... today think the reversal of that/

Today every single verse that I rap is going to have zero personal attacks//

Ima use science and math and shit that you teach and ima murk you with that/

No personal jokes, no jokes just lyricism cause hip hop has always been like that//

So anything he says to me intellectual, ima be able to flip right back/

I can teach y'all how to chemically break down a enzyme flat//

Stabilize the temperature using incubators which condense molecules that turns into H20 you can get right back/

Cause when particles ... Wait a minute y'all thought I was gunna come out here and spit some stupid shit like that!?!?!?!//

Let me get this fuckin' word off, fuckin' faggot brought all of his homies with him/

He hasn't even got his verse off and this little fuckin' homo already got his shirt off//

*inaudible*/

You probably paint your fingernails and chill with him at Chip 'n Dales//

Welcome to hell Germaine the wrath has cometh/

This is the part of the rap you get your ass confronted//

And then I catch you in the back gettin' relaxed and blunted/

Then set the place on fire until you feel like you sitting inside of a dragon's stomach//

You cats don't want it, you get castrated and hacked to nuggets/

I'll make chicken strips out of your loved ones - that's what I call a family bucket//

I'm like KFC when I pull the axe out you get slashed and gutted/

so fast even the King Of The Dot staff will need panoramic camera coverage//

Just to capture the angle of the blood bath/

From the other side of the room, when I drag you from it//

What's wrong with you Canibus?/

*Points to arm in sling*

Did you fuck that up doing some skateboarding stuff?//

Im tryna figure out how you ended up with your bones gettin' crushed/

But now it made sense I get it, you punched yourself in the chest so hard you made both of your shoulders touch//

You had a fall from grace, fell a long way from the praise that he's gotten/

To being straight misplaced and forgotten//

Nowadays from place to place he be hoppin'/

But he never feels safe no matter where he is from all the names he be droppin'//

And he keeps droppin names no matter all the pain that its cost him/

He stays taking losses, LL Cool J basically stopped him//

The same happened with Slim Shady even though you initiated the problem/

So its safe to say after today, this will be the nail in his coffin//

I got infinite skill/

Even if you took millions of pills like the kid from the film 'Limitless' you still couldn't think of shit that's this ill//

Im ill, ridiculous, chill - you physically built like a little bitch, your squad trippin then they all gettin killed//

Your dogs? Im skinning them, knitting them into a sweater quicker than Cruella de Vil//

Look at this fuckin' treatment i'm giving him/

Look at the treatment im giving this old ass senior citizen//

that wouldnt be seen within the reach or 300 feet within the street of Michigan/

from all the nightmares and dreams of Slim repeatedly rippin' him//

I ain't Peter Griffin, so why do I beef with this Chicken/

Jabbing and kicking him repeatedly til he bleeds from his ribs and then falls asleep on the concrete in the same fetal position he was left in ever since Eminem beat his career in submission and didn't let him spit again//

Blackballed and restricted him/

Blocked him from his mission or any other business attempts, so technically Slim ended up stiffing him harder than he did to Kim ever since the last time the bitch attempted taking half of his shit from him// 

Pitiful guy, miserable type sucker/

You live in a time cluster where it was easy for getting by

cause most of those industry lines were missing those intricate rhyme structures//

So your lyrics to them were like mind fuckers/

But as the internet lines buffered, you realized its harder to keep up with these little guys cause its like a million lines tougher//

Looking at him I feel like the universe just wants to witness this guy suffer/

Cause he's going through hell and LL's out in some ridiculous priced suburb//

He probably lives with a white butler/

Who, every night is hired to fix him a nice supper//

He literally drives like 65 Hummers/

And each one of them is specifically a different type of color//

Y'all know what rhymes with Germaine Williams?/

*Guy in crowd screams 'Never made millions*

That's what it is! Never Made Millions

That dude, I don't know who he is, but he's straight brilliant//

What happened after the success of 'Second Round Knockout'/

Exactly, nothing happened - there was no one left on Earth for Canibus to call out//

So he pretty much ran outta things to talk about - the industry blocked him out - they fuckin' locked him out//

And we didn't hear from him again 'til he popped up in a song callin' out every single member from Slaughterhouse//

Out woulda socked every single one of the out?/

Pshhh - don't be mad cause you took the hater slash salty route//

Everyone hates your guts - you called everyone out from Slaughterhouse except for Crooked I/

Cause Crooked I woulda knocked you out//

Everybody hates you, what the fuck are you talking bout?/

We interviewed LL and even his own mama said to knock you out//

Look at the bright side, you're like a certified author now/

You could write a novel on what being blackballed is all about//

Its probably all them call outs and them blogs, why he had a falling out/

Its like being inside of a pool hall watching his ass fall cause he got ate, blackballed, and then they chalked him out//

What the fuck are you talking bout?!?!?!

We call miss that Canibus that used to attack with that thirst rage/

Snap and burst liek an animal thats trapped in a dirt cage//

Nowadays you uninspired and I can see the cracks in your wordplay/

What you sayin, 'I kept it true to hip hop blah blah blahblahblah - that's what the herbs say//

You took your ball and you went home cause things in the industry weren't happening your way/

You wanted to be famous too, you and LL were supposed to collab on the first take//

But he bodybagged you off the track in the worst way/

Then you came back and you said it wasn't about the fame//

Its about being hurt and theres a purpose in actual verse made/

But that's the impact that actual words make//

Cause if it was truly about the art and your lab is the workplace/

You would have never wanted to be on a track like that in the first place//

I fuckin' hate it when people try to go mainstream and they flip flop/

And they try to disguise their failure as them being true to hip hop//

So I don't give a fuck what you try to talk about, next time one of your homies pops out/

That's how you do a fuckin' First Round Knockout//

Significance

Dizaster and Canibus collaborated to make one of the saddest moments in hip hop history.  I don't know if Canibus got bodied worse by the notepad or Dizaster, but one thing is for sure -  before the notepad even came out, Dizaster was going Ham & Cheese on that ass.  Please read Dizaster's first verse (shown above) and you will appreciate how much time, effort and detail was put into his words.  Pay close attention during Dizaster's first round and you will see the people behind Canibus go from looking happy and excited to putting their heads down in shame.   The Murda Mook quote at the beginning of this article pretty much sums up Dizaster vs Canibus - word to Supernatural's face (Supernatural is the guy with the dreads behind Canibus.)

Cassidy vs Freeway

Someone's Camcorder

16 Bars

2 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Cassidy Round 4

"I don't got a whip, but I got my chick Z3 key/

No top - dropped out like a G.E.D.//

Rican bitch eatin' my dick like 'Ven Aqui"/

Im on the celly watching Belly on the dvd//

If I get robbed you'll get 5 in ya Enyce/

B blow *inaudible* tryna see my P//

I'm NBC - news time blastin' 8s/

Keep ya cool for you loose like half ya face//

Run in ya house, cover ya mouth wit masking tape/

Let my chick strap on a dick, his ass get raped//

Everybody gotta die, why procrastinate?/

You get put in a casket for makin' trashy tapes//

If I pass you base and you spend my gravy/

Then I ask for my papes and you pretend you crazy//

Ill put ten in ya Avi(rex) and pretend you paid me/

Leave you stuffed in a dumpster like Brenda Baby//"

Significance
This battle showed everyone on Earth the fine line between studio rappers and battle rappers.  It seems as though everyone in the studio that was watching the battle live was scared to react because they felt so bad for Freeway.  In Freeway's defense, he didn't do as bad as people make it seem, but at the time it came out, it was the biggest ass whooping ever.  "Leave you stuffed in a dumpster like Brenda Baby" was the line heard round the world and "Throw on a beat" became one of the hugest jokes in hip hop. 

Conceited vs Jesse James

URL

44 Bars

8 Bombs

Memorable Verse - Conceited's Round

"He said he wanted a big battle, coming at Conceited is something you shouldn't go to/

Its ironic you say people in the Lou smell you, but nobody here knows you//

He's only known for choking in his raps and throwing away a stack/

Not for no aggression or no skill//

You a no-namer, they refer to you as that last nigga that went up against Ill/

This is a favor, me lettin; you hear these nice raps//

If you so hot, how come you couldn't melt down a Ice Pack/

I mean, you couldn't be forreal wit that babble//

This matchup to me is a back paddle/

And from the looks of things, you still look a little Ill from that battle//

Especially ... see I forgot my damn line ...

*Jesse James makes a triumphant noise*

SIKE! YOU MUST BE OUT YOUR DAMN MIND!

Imagine me freeze, that's not cool/

Get in a battle and say, 'Aah Shit!' ... nigga I am not you//

Y'all probably don't know what i'm talkin' bout cause that battle aint got views///

See I know when I remind you of that, it bring a whole lot of pain up/

But what really hurt this lame fuck is that your own niggas keep bringing my name up before they say your name once//

And that's the truth straight up, this square better shape up/

You think I believe you conceal a mack cause everything you say is make up?//

The rest a y'all will get that in the morning when you wake up///

Battling me, you stepped way outta your comfort zone/

Nigga you aint dumping chrome//

You like Mark McGuire/

Someone in St. Louis we always see runnin' home//

The shotgun will strip him to his skull and bones/

Once i blocka ill get rid of the Choppa like Puffy Combs//

See this sucka's known to be a liar - a faker/

Stop wit the yappin' you frontin' - he think ima give him props cause he's actin'//

In that case, ill make you sit calm when I snipe your ribs/

You could me 'Married With Children,' - ill still murder your 'Wife And Kids'//

Even if he's 'Livin' Single' - ill run in your crib and still dump the desie/

Kill everybody in that 'Full House' - even your Uncle Jesse//

You know I had to say something 'bout his name, this lame is nerdy/

Not even a Lakers jersey would say that James is Worthy//

And quite frankly i'm gettin' tired of it/

Y'all brought me another college kid tryna spit like he fire clips//

He go to school in Missouri on a scholarship/

So that means Arsonal drives the bus ... and you ride the shit//

I'll catch him in the hallways running late tryna' make it to math/

Shots clip 'em and like Ferris Bueller you won't make it to class//

Bullets tear off his arm from his body, he's straight shook/

His legs from his bottom, this ain't good//

Point at his dreads with the glock/

Remove his head from the Lox like J-Hood//

Ill have his dome on the floor, his jaw from his Nike shoes/

And his locks on the wall like hallways in High School//

See, i'm a nice dude - this nigga wanna be a Lunatic/

But you ain't part of that damn gang, from my waist where the can spray/

Keep tryna be Nelly out hurr til ya face get a band-aid//"

Significance

This is why you don't call someone out and try to cheat your way to the top of the ladder.  Jesse James paid Conceited $1000 to battle him on URL's first trip to St. Louis in a one round promotional match.  Conceited whooped that ass so bad that SMACK wanted to see another round.  This is that match that solidified Conceited's "top tier" - any less of an opponent would get the same treatment Jesse James got.

10 Honorable Mentions

Young Gattas vs Ami Miller
"You the third bitch that I body bagged, fuck the other two
You look like that bucktooth bitch from 3lw"

Rone vs Rugged
"And now i'm in this pockets thinkin' 'Aint that funny'
Now who the fuck's gettin' Arab Moneyyyyy"

Kid Twist vs Big Mac
"He thinks he's taking trips to the court for packin' pistols in drawers
Bitch, you not on house arrest - you just don't fit through the door"

Swave Sevah vs QP
"Barbarian bully rappers, why bother us?
The fuck im dealing with SONS for?  Ill fuck your father up!"

Hollow Da Don vs Big T
"Don't get your brain cooked for a half
Jim Carey style - I act different when I put on that Mask"

Iron Solomon vs Mic Assassin
"The British are coming, the British are coming/
But history done proved that the British are nothing//"

QP vs Taz
"I was told he was Indian, but which kind it wasn't specified
Convenience store owners or the Wild Wild Western Kind"

Charlie Clips vs Tay Rock
"The shotty'll remove his whole body, his man like, "Nah that ain't my g"
Cause at the funeral there's no arms and no legs - just his face inside a box like a State ID"

Conceited vs Illmaculate
"When them clips lift and the heater shoot, its mad noise
When the scope it on, its like Pokemon - Ill Pikachu and Blastoise"

Soul Khan vs J Fox
"The way you talk about guns you bust, corny as fuck
Damn, life as a shorty shouldn't be so rough"

AND JUST TO THROW IT IN ... (For Literal Purposes)

Math Hoffa vs Dose
"I put the smack in SMACK"

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- Drect