10 Things NOT to Say/Do in a Rap Battle

For 10+ years I have played the role of battle emcee, fan, coach, proofreader, league owner, etc. - you name it and i've done it.

Over the years, this unspoken list of what not to say/do has seemed to materialize in the shadowy depths of lyricism.  With battle rap reaching new heights of popularity, new fans have been tricked over and over again by some of the most overused lines in not only battle history, but the history of hip hop.  Some people enjoy "biting" or plagiarizing other emcees, while others either don't know or don't care.

Either way, the following is a list things rappers need to stop saying; give it a rest!

*Disclaimer* Some of the lines in this blog were hot when they came out, but some weren't.  Deal with it :)

contributions by: Ness Lee & Aak

10 THINGS NOT TO SAY IN A RAP BATTLE

1. DEFEAT (DA FEET)

"Da feet" is easily one of the most overused double meanings in hip hop history.  I honestly don't know why people still use it.  I hear this all the time from battle rappers and reputable lyricists.  As a fan, every time we hear "da feet" we slap our foreheads and take away points/stripes from the person who said it.

In the words of Conceited: "That shit was like Benjamin Button ... it was old when it came out!"

Examples:

"You might as well face ya defeat, look patna/
Ill have you lookin' at da feet like a foot doctor" - Papoose BET Cypher

"Fresh out the box, new stock chrome handle/
You can see da feet like a open toe sandal" - Cess Lo vs Loaded Lux

2. I'LL PUT YOUR BRAIN ...

I don't know exactly when it started or who started it, but at the turn of the new millenium, everyone was trying to come up with lines written in the "I'll put your brain on _______ and _______" format.  Its popularity peaked when Murda Mook battled Jae Millz on SMACK and ended one of his rounds, "Ill put your brains in your hand and tell you 'hold that thought.'"

In this day in age, the line has been overused to the point you may get laughed at for having a brain line.

Examples:

"Ill put your brain on your feet, so you can kick some knowledge" - Unknown

"Quit playing wit me, no im not a dreamcast/
Ill blow his brains in the sky and watch his dreams pass//" - Cocky vs Heartless

3. CAME FOR YOUR FUNERAL

At least once a year, someone says (verbatim), "I'm dressed in all black cause I came for your funeral" in a rap battle.

Why?  I don't exactly know, but I have a few guesses:

- The line has been said so much, that if you have to resort to freestyling and notice someone wearing all black, its the first thing that pops into your head.

- Once upon a time, the line could get a major crowd reaction

- You believe you made it up.

Too many examples.  Just pay attention & you'll catch it.

4. ILL PUT YOU IN A BOX LIKE ...

"Put you in a box" is the only phrase on this list that have evolved through time.  The point of the line is to assume a "box" is a "coffin" and use a witty metaphor to tell your opponent how they will arrive in their final resting place.

Evolution

- Simple Simile: "Ill put you in a box like a action figure" - Hollow Da Don vs Passwurdz

- Nameplay Double Entendre: "ill put QP in a box ... 10 points in scrabble" - Soul Khan vs QP

- (Blank) is a Faggot:: "Ill put Nocando in a box ... and Iron Solomon's a faggot" - Dizaster vs Nocando

It's possible to have a dope "box" line, but next time you think about saying, "ill put you in a box like a pizza" ... just don't do it.

5.  WEEK (WEAK) 

Every since Canibus said, "your weak like 7 days" in 1998 (thanks AmIAm), We have all heard the line 2 million times.  Somewhere along the line, people took it to the next level and starting saying, "you're two weak like 14 days."  I always thought some would battle 24/7 and say, "seven's weak like 49 days" * shrugs*

Examples:

"Oun's been weak for more than 7 days." - DNA vs Oun P

"You're too weak, I only needed 14 days prep" - Chilla Jones vs Cash Eatin

6. ILL PUT (NUMBER) TO YOUR CHEST LIKE (ATHLETE)

Putting a number (of implied bullets) into your opponents chest like an athletic jersey of the player who wears that number is the OLDEST trick in the book.  Somewhere along the line, people started using the caliber of a firearm barrel and bullet diameter instead of a random number.

Examples:

"ll put 44 to your chest like Rick Mahorn" - Marvwon vs Eminem

"With two nines to your chest, we goin call you Warren Sapp" - Juicy J

In one battle Soul Khan said "ill put the 9 to your face like I took a sharpie out and drew the number 9 on your face"  that was pretty funny.  - Soul Khan & Troy Brown vs 9DM & Cobra Ky

Somewhere along the line, this evoled to "Ill have you running back to (name of city) like (name of the running back for the aforementioned city's team.)"

"Ill have you running back for Miami like Reggie Bush" - Nobody ... yet

7. KILL DOGS LIKE MICHAEL VICK

When Michael Dwayne Vick, the superstar quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons was convicted of dog fighting in April 2007 and had to serve 21 months in prison, every rapper on the planet had a secret competition to come up with the best Mike Vick/dog line.

It's over 5 years later ... Vick is on the Eagles ... and apparently the competition hasn't ended.  I have no idea why people still say this.

Examples:

"Let that rifle spit, kill a couple of his dogs like Michael Vick/
But even if I get jail time, I'll still come home and play wit the Eagles!" - PC vs John John Da Don (probably the best line)

"Betta behave, the eagle under the white tee/
If I dont feel you dog, ill kill you dog - Mike V" - Cassidy BET CYPHER

8.  JEW(EL)S & HOLOCAUST

Nazi Germany's treatment of the Jewish people during the Holocaust is one of the most touchy subjects in the history of the world.  What do battle rappers do?  Make it a punchline.

Examples:

"When I let this 8 off (adolf) those jewels (jews) I better not see (Nazi)" - Rich Dolarz vs DNA

"I pop brews I don't gotta floss, I drop jew(el)s like the Holocaust" - Party Arty vs Murda Mook

GREAT Example:

"I'm letting 8 off (Adolf) if I find what the jew(el)s on Holla cost (Holocaust)" - John John Da Don officially retired that line when he battled Hitman Holla.  Its over - it won't get any better than that.

9.  PROOF (OF D12)

Just don't mention him - R.I.P

10. POPEYE'S BISCUIT

When it comes to chicken, biscuits and honey, where do battle rappers turn to?  Not KFC, not Church's ... Popeye's!  Even though it's been overused over time, its hilarious every time.

Examples:

"No Chicken, no biscuit - just them pop eyes" - Philly Swain vs Syahboy

"For the chicken, when I got the biscuits I pop eyes" - Calicoe vs K-SHine

This has nothing to do with Popeye's, which makes it very original.  Plus, we can all relate to this wonderful quote:

"My trunk is Red Lobster, I only go there for the biscuit" - Nymesis vs X-Factor

*** HONARABLE MENTIONS ***

RAP (WRAP) GOOD / XMAS PRESENTS (PRESENCE)

"How you got so much presence, but ain't got a gift rapping" - Conceited vs Goodz

DYE (DIE) HAIR (HERE)

"This aint a battle, its a salon, cause in here you goin die Red" - Tay Rock vs O-Red

"I ain't come to rap about this niggas waves and his haircut, cause I could give that blade a wave and get everybody in here cut" - T-Rex vs Ayeverb

HEATH LEDGER / JOKER

"That blade'll put a smile on your face like the joker mask" - Passwurdz vs Daylyt

10 THINGS NOT TO DO IN A RAP BATTLE

1. "NO HOMO" / PAUSE MOMENT

Nothing can kill your momentum like accidentally saying something that can provoke your opponent into saying "pause" or "no homo" in the middle of your round and making the crowd laugh.  Try to double check your rhymes and avoid this costly mistake.

(Battle: Tah Phrum Da Bush vs Likwuid Styles)

2. NO SHOW FOR A BATTLE

These days, people take about a month to prepare specifically for you.  C'mon son!  In the words of J. Biz tha God, "If you don't show up you get it anyway!"

3. CALL A WHITE GUY "EMINEM"

Eminem and 8 Mile references are played out as hell.  White boys crush people who do this these days.

4. DISS THE HOME CROWD

You will get boo'd .. fast.

5. BRING YOUR NOTEBOOK

Really this should be called, "Bad use of a prop" but Canibus fucked the game up.

6. SAY "NIGGA" AND YOU'RE NOT A MINORITY

Sounds ridiculous, but I wouldn't mention it if it hadn't been said before.

7. CHOKE AND LEAVE THE BATTLE (OR CRY)

SMH

8. BRING YOUR GIRLFRIEND

She will either get you bodied, nag you and make you go home early, or get holla'd at by thirsty battle rappers.

9. TOUCHING YOUR HOMIE UNNECESSARILY (LOL)

"Y'all be slappin' each other on the ass like 'good game' and y'all ain't playin' nuttin!" - T-Rex vs Okwerdz

10. ADMIT THAT YOU MESSED UP

Saying things like, "yo im freestyling cause I forgot my bars" will lose you the battle.

*** HONARABLE MENTIONS ***

FORCED MULTI'S "You look like Elen Degeneres fell in a lemon pit" - (@GiveUpGuitar)

HAVE A FREIND LIP SYNC YOUR VERSE (and the camera catches them)

SPIT THE SAME VERSE TWICE ON CAMERA

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Credits:
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and just to throw it in ...

RESPECT DAYLYT!

peace